Run #3: OFFICIALLY DOING THIS I GUESS.

THIRD RUN TONIGHT, BITCHES.  And I gotta say, I’m a little intimidated.  If I do something three times, I can’t really pretend I never cared.  When I fail–And yes, I WILL fail, unless I do this 3 times a week for literally the rest of my life–I’ll have to acknowledge that I really, actually tried.

But, EFF IT, let’s do it anyway, and I give you all full permission to laugh at me when I give up, like, tomorrow.

Working on my playlist really helps motivate me.  HERE IS WHAT I WILL LISTEN TO LATER WHILE MOVING FORWARD IN SPACE AND TIME.

I guess playlists motivate me to do most things, though?

I’m tired of all my music, so tonight I’m just gonna skim through some really shitty techno playlists on Spotify and grab a handful of tolerable tracks.

Can someone explain why this “hardstyle/techno” list is like, 40% dubstep?  You do realize NOT ALL ELECTRONICA IS DUBSTEP, right?  I bet whoever made this also leaves comments on Chemical Brothers songs like “good track but where was the drop, lol.”

Ugh I hate all of this, so I just hastily cobbled some stuff together:

I’m actually kind of EXCITED about running tonight, guys.  I mean, I had to tell myself NOT to run yesterday.  What.  WHAT.

This slightly disturbs me. Who is this person, all… enjoying exercise and going to bed at 11 without self-medicating?  Have I been possessed by the ghost of a soccer mom?  THIS IS BULLSHIT.

Oh god my running jacket is moist, WHY IS IT MOIST.  Isn’t this a good enough reason not to go?!  I CAN’T GO NOW, I FEEL LIKE A USED Q-TIP.

Fine, I’ll go.  But only because I’m already dressed for it.

Dear Future Jess:  COOL-DOWNS ARE FREAKING IMPORTANT.

I know, okay?  I KNOW.  I’m just the kind of person who needs to break rules before I can decide if they’re worth following.

I keep either skipping, or running through, my cool-downs, and it’s… uncomfortable.  I feel like someone dosed me with an unfamiliar drug, and I’m coming up and flipping out and they keep telling me to “just breathe” and “it’ll even out soon.”  My heart is racing, my body is uncomfortable, and my mind is in a strange and unfamiliar place.  I DON’T LIKE IT.

The only slightly more appropriate thing I can compare it to is… coming out of a movie theater?  It’s daylight when you go in, and for 2 hours, you experience a different world.  Then you walk outside, into darkness, and you feel… disoriented.

It’s like that, but on a physical plane as well.

It kinda sucks.

The other lesson I learned today is about procrastination.

I put this thing off until like, 9:30, but it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t follow through.  It turns out I can procrastinate as long as I want, as long as those sneaky “you can always do it tomorrow” thoughts don’t seep into my consciousness.  I’ve realized this whole time I’ve been fighting my own laziness, I’ve been throwing punches in the wrong direction.

I need to remember that “tomorrow” is my strongest enemy.

Enough waxing philosophical for the evening, y’all.

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