happy is a diamond in the rough

Imagine I am Val Kilmer and someone just released me from a dangling cage prison, and I hop to my feet and yell “I FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!” because Willow references are topical as fuck, and also I’m sure I’m remembering that scene with 100% accuracy.

Holy shit I just noticed Starbucks isn’t doing the holiday cups anymore.

YEAH, OKAY JESS, MAYBE FOCUS FOR A SECOND?

I feel better.  Which I know won’t last, and I’m probably just riding the high of having a tolerably clean apartment for the first time in 6 months, but.  YA KNOW.  It’s better than being sad, even if it’s…  a temporary lie?

But if this is a lie simply because it will eventually end, isn’t the sadness a lie too?

Or are the frequency and length the only things that make a feeling “real,” in which case, depression would be the only real feeling I’ve ever had?

Omg.  Brain.  Seriously?!  I’m not here to depress myself.  I’m here to ACTUALLY WRITE ABOUT FEELING BETTER, instead of just ignoring the highs and publicly lamenting the lows and giving everyone the impression that I do nothing but sob into my Cheerios all day, which I can’t eat because I’m too sad to feel hunger.

Just for the record, that has never happened, because I’m not a big Cheerios fan.

I dunno if I’ll run later, but it sounds like a good idea.

I dunno if I’ll do ANYTHING later, but the fact that thinking about being non-preductive later doesn’t crush my will to live?  That’s pretty cool.

Uhhhhh, yeah.

That’s about it.

Ha ha, why do all my words go away when the feelz improve.

Here, have a depressing song with a misleading title.  PHARRELL AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ ON MOTHER MOTHER.

Oh, quick ending note: “Filth” is not a goddamn dark comedy, you guys.  Netflix is lying to you.  It’s like, 12 pounds of darkness with a half-empty side serving of Comedy Dressing.  Don’t watch it if you’re feeling sad, but do watch it if you’re feeling better, because it was actually pretty good and also ARE JAMES MCAVOY’S EYES EVEN REAL?!

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