OH HI GUYS. You know that one time I wrote about wanting more accountability, and then threw away what little accountability I already had, only a month later?
It’s fine, guys. As long as I still have to pay my rent, I won’t completely drown in my own propensity for failure.
“Maybe to keep myself on track, I’ll start running and blogging again!”
That was a swell idea, until I realized that on the list of things that make me sad right now are:
- The Existence of My Legs
So, that idea’s out.
Instead, without the permission of my conscious self, I found myself digging into a project I never hoped to complete, or realistically, even start.
I’m working on a podcast with The Bro!
It’s foreign enough to not remind me of the stuff that sucks right now, and it’s something I enjoy enough to keep pushing through setbacks and frustrations.
What? WHAT?!?!? Jess, are you sure you’re not having a stroke? Are you sure you haven’t been replaced by a slightly less useless version of yourself from an alternate, slightly less shitty dimension? ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN’T DIE AND THIS IS A WEIRD SECONDLIFE/LIMBO SITUATION?!!!?1/11?!?1?132!??
I’ve known for a long time, the only thing that consistently motivates me is avoidance. But this time, it feels a little different. It’s like, Avoidance + Actual Fucks Given = something that I might, ONE DAY, consider a… passion?!?!
Or I’ll just give up in 6 weeks. It’s cool.
IN ANY CASE! I’ll likely be uploading it to either this WordPress, or a separate account for it, I guess? Also, Everywhere Else I Can Find.
If anyone has any podcast advice/experience to throw at me, please, please, PLEASE do. There are probably many facets that I haven’t considered yet.
God, this update is shit. Finding words is hard today. It feels like I’m playing “Where’s Waldo?” and I keep getting tricked by all the idiots who dress like him.
OH WELL. I’ll just circle them anyway and pretend I won.
I’ll give y’all some updates on the podcast over the weekend, including the concept behind it and the theme of the first episode. I’ll also be asking y’all for ideas on future themes. Hooray!
OKAY THAT’S ALL BYE FOREVER