Jess Re-Learns to Read!!!

Hi everyone! I can’t read!!!

I read voraciously as a kid. Crushed books like they were Doritos that I left in my pocket again hey Jess stop putting loose Doritos in your pocket NO I WILL NOT BUT THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION.

When I entered my teen years, and books were getting longer and more complex (young adult fiction was frequently boring me by this age, so I leveled up to the hard shit), I still read a LOT, but instead of crushing books, it was mostly just starting books?

I was usually “in the middle” of four or five books at once. Then, eventually, none of my five options appealed to me anymore. I needed novelty. THE NOVELTY OF NOVELS, AM I RIGHT? HA HA. Except those words are probably etymologically related, so that’s not really a joke?

As soon as I reached a dull chapter or a character I didn’t care about and I happened to see some flashy cover at the library, I’d be all, “Okay, I’ll start this one, but then later I’ll definitely finish that memoir about a dude trying to escape Scientology.” SPOILER ALERT I DIDN’T FINISH IT BUT OBVIOUSLY HE MADE IT OUT BECAUSE HE WROTE THE BOOK.

The day I pulled a bookmark out of a book I started two years previous was a sad day indeed. I was essentially committing to forgetting about this world I was once so excited to experience. Once it went back on the shelf, it was out of my mind, save for the occasional “Huh, I wonder what happened to those characters. Guess I’ll never know!”

As an adult, I realize this was probably yet another sign of ADHD, but at the time I was just like “I’m a lazy piece of shit who can’t get past the boring parts of books to enjoy the full experience, I guess I should just die.”


Anyway. I’m an adult now. SORT OF. But I basically never read anymore.

Books, that is. I read stuff on the internet constantly, but blogs and articles are shorter than books. Even when I read entire wikis on complex subjects, IT’S STILL NOT A BOOK. Plus I can skip around to various sections. Pretty sure you can’t do that with novels? I don’t know, I forget.

As of last year, I’m trying to force myself to engage in things that take longer than 14 minutes to complete. And it’s hard. But it’s probably at least partially a self-discipline thing, right? I can trick my brain into forgetting to wander off? Maybe??

I don’t think that’s backed up by any research. Oh well. Research is even harder to read than books, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If I actually do this, I’ll write a post for each book. I’ll cover (A) the weirdness of re-learning to read at almost 30, (B) whether I like the book, and (C) if I’m making any goddamn progress re: increasing my attention span.


  1. I’ll ask for suggestions, and then pick whatever book I want, instead of my usual method of trying to go through them in order and stopping after the first two.
  2. If I find myself unable to concentrate from the get-go, I’m allowing myself to dump the book and try another one.
  3. If I finish ANY goddamn book, I’ll post about it. Even if I had no choice but to read it, like assigned textbooks at an anger management class, or the instruction manual for my coffee machine.
  4. One month per book sounds doable. I will aim very hard for it, but I get freaked out by solid timelines, so I won’t make any promises.
  5. This is one of those projects I thought of 15 minutes ago and got super excited about, so I’ll probably lose steam less than halfway through. That’s fine. No one cares.

Holy shit I just realized I don’t think I even have a library card anymore, and I live in a city that is known for its dope library.


K I’ll keep you posted. Feel free to drop suggestions in the comments, if you haven’t already on my Facebook post.


2 thoughts on “Jess Re-Learns to Read!!!

  1. I try to set a goal of reading at least 50 pages a day. I have rarely achieved the goal.

    Also, I’m about 3/4ths of the way through IT, but I will need to start it over again because it’s been so long since I’ve actually picked it up and I’ve never watched the movie, so I don’t know what’s even happening anymore.

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