In Which I Make a Big Deal Out of Doors

This morning, I was walking into my office building.  There are 2 sets of doors to walk through before you hit the lobby.  You know.  Like… most… lobbies.  (Strong opener, Jess.)

I open the outer door fully.  100 goddamn percent.  It’s as open as (pop culture reference involving a vagina, probably).  

An older dude is walking toward me, through the inner doors, and holding a giant fuckin’ camera.

I do the normal human thing, and hold the outer door.  The one I’m not even done walking through, thus making the door-holding situation almost zero percent inconvenient for me.  It would have taken him 2 seconds to walk through, and I would have lost… mmmmaybe 1 second of my life.

Continue reading


Marijuana Doesn’t Actually Cure Everything?!

(My titling game is as strong as ever, obvi.)

Hi guys!  GUESS WHAT?

Shortly after quitting social media, I got STUPIDLY SICK FOR 2 WEEKS.

Which means, on top of giving up my internetzzzz, I also gave up smoking and drinking and marijuana which I guess is also smoking, except I use a vaporizer, so.  SO.

Basically, 100% of my bandages were torn off simultaneously, due to circumstance.  IT WAS GREAT, and by great I mean terrible, and by terrible I mean not that bad, actually!

Continue reading